Heaven Here
by notswallowedby
Summary: Set after the S4 finale. Lucas confronts Peyton right when she's about to flee from it all especially him.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This happens directly after the finale, but the only change is that Nathan and Haley get to their honeymoon without the whole limo in the water deal. Please R&R! **

She sniffed again, inhaling the lingering smell of burnt paper when she did so. Her eyes found their way over to the source of the smell as she watched the flame die. It looked like nothing more than embers now. Embers that had sparked the end of a friendship..and a decision for her. Her mind had wandered as the drawing burned. It focused mainly on Brooke. The name alone made her sad...but angry. She felt guilty for being angry with her but she couldn't help it. Part of her wanted to hang on to Brooke. They had been friends for ten years..she had helped her through the death of two mothers, an absent father...but she also had the one thing that Peyton wanted...no the one person she needed more than anything. The one person she knew she couldn't live without. But could she live without Brooke? The person who slapped her for being honest and for questioning her true feelings about him? Part of her wanted to give up Brooke..and take him. But what if she gave up Brooke...and he still wanted her? What if she lost both of them? Was that a risk she was willing to take? Was he worth it?

She blinked more tears from her eyes. But he wouldn't pick her. He would pick Brooke, again. Why was she so stupid to think she could actually have him? She should've learned her lesson after all this time. Why couldn't she get over him? Why? She had Jake. Jake loved her like she wanted to be loved..was that not good enough for her for some reason? How was it that Lucas was still there in her heart? After all the time, and the hurt, how did he still posess her like he did? He posessed her heart..and hehad for so long now. Why?Why couldn't she just love Jake back...? The way that he loved her. Why did everything always come back to Lucas?

She sighed and tried to wipe the tears off her face. She knew the answer to that question at least: She loved him. As much as she tried to deny it, bury it, hide it, or ignore it..it was there. And it was killing her more and more everyday. Loving a boy who didn't love her back. Who was obviously in love with another girl. She couldn't do this anymore. She wouldn't sit here and cry pathetically over a boy. Or a friendship that she lost. There were bigger things in life..things like..well, that's what she was going to find out. She was going to forget about him..forget about Brooke..all of it. She was just going to get in her car..and drive. Away from all of them...away from her heart. She would run from the truth like she always did...and keep running. To run meant to leave her heart behind in Tree Hill. Good. Her heart had endured enough pain. She would be rid of it.

Resigned, so rose from her seat on the bed. She turned and headed towards the closet to grab a bag, her clouded tear-filled vision stopping her from seeing the figure that watched from the doorway. She shoved some clothes in her bag and moved towards the door, tears now running down her face. But she stopped short, her heart clenching in her chest when she saw a figure in the doorway, blocking her path.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, his blue eyes wide.

For some reason the appearance of him in her room made her angry. He had stopped her from leaving..from running away. But then again, he wasn't there for her, was he? She wiped the tears off her face. "Looking for Brooke?" she asked him coldly.

Lucas' face crinkled at the tone of her voice, but he nodded just the same. "I was..yeah," he said slowly. He looked her over, taking in the fact that she hadn't changed her clothes since the wedding, the tears on her face, and then the bag in her hand.

"She's not here.." Peyton muttered bitterly. "Sorry to dissapoint. Try her cell phone, she'll answer it for you." She walked a few steps towards him, figuring that he would move out of her way when she reached him. But he didn't budge. "Lucas.." she said, exasperated.

"What are you doing?" he asked again. He sniffed the air, picking up the scent of burned paper. "And what is burning?"

Peyton felt panic rise within her, and her eyes betrayed her by glancing at the garbage can that help the smoldering drawing. "Nothing," she said quickly.

He left his position at the door and followed her eyes to the garbage can. He lifted out the drawing that was smoking..and enough of it still remained for him to tell what it was. He glanced to the wall to see the empty spot of where the drawing used to be. Then his eyes came back to Peyton- who wasn't there. He looked aorund the room and she wasn't there. He dropped the drawing back into the trash and tore out of her room and down the stairs. His foot stepped off the stairs as she opened the door. "Peyton!"

Peyton stopped in the doorway and turned slowly. He saw her eyes filled with tears. "Don't leave," he said quietly. "Just stop..tell me what's going on."

"I can't," she choked out as she shook her head. "I won't. Why can't you just let me go..?" she asked him. "Okay? Go find your girlfriend.." she told him roughly.

"I don't want to find her", he told her. "I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," she told him. "I'm always fine."

"You're rarely fine."

She looked startled at that statement. "And I know that because I know you, Peyton."

Peyton squeezed her eyes shut together. "Stop saying stuff like that."

"What's going on, Peyton? You and Brooke are arguing..you burned that drawing...".

"Nothing.." she said sternly. "It's nothing."

He referenced towards the bag in her hand with a movement of his arm. "It doesn't look like nothing if you're..what are you planning on doing?"

Peyton hesitated. "I was just...I don't know." She sighed. "Trying to get away from it all."

"Your problems with Brooke?"

Peyton bit her tongue_. No you. I was trying to get away from you_. "Yeah."

"Would someone just tell me what the two of you are arguing about?" he asked a bit desperately. "Wait...if it wasn't about..in the library, when we- well ya know-then what is it about? Brooke said that you told her some stuff about you and me..".

Peyton opened her mouth..but shut it again, speehless. Now what?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews that I've gotten already! I'm glad some people are liking it :)**

Peyton just stared at him...not knowing what to say. There was no way around it..she would have to tell him everything..why her and Brooke were arguing..which would lead to her feelings about him...what if she just left?...she could..but her feet didn't seem to be moving. She couldn't leave him when he was standing there staring at her. There was just something about those eyes that made her stay rooted to the spot. The way he was looking at her...it reminded her of that day in the library. Where they had been sneaking around the book shelves. The way he was looking at her when he said he 'had to be with her'...it made her heart leap and her hands shake. And everytime she looked at Lucas lately..she wanted him to look at her like that again. He heart ached day and night for him to give her that look..because of how it made her feel. And he did..once. It took her getting shot and almost dying in the school for him to look at her like that again. It was because of that..and well severe loss of blood, of course...that she had kissed him. It was that look...it made her weak...and it made her love him even more.

And he was doing it now- that look. And her resistance to him was buckling. The need to run away from him was slowly ebbing away from her brain...and her heart was taking over. The part of her heart that wanted to have him so badly. Should she tell him how she felt about him? Should she just do it? What did she have to loose? She opened her mouth to say something...to tell him everything..when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned in the door, her bag swinging and hitting her leg. It was Brooke. Peyton's eyes met hers, but she looked down quickly at the look disgust that graced Brooke's appearances. She reached the doorstep. "Don't look so hopeful. I'm just here to get my..." but she stopped talking when she saw who was in the house behind Peyton. Her face twisted slightly. "Well that didn't take long, did it? For you and Lucas to..do whatever it is you two do. We didn't wait long, did we Peyton?" Brooke asked as she pushed past her into the house, to come face to face with a surprised Lucas.

"B-Brooke..what are you-"

"Save it, Lucas, okay? I get it...where your allegiance really lies."

"Brooke.." he replied. "I came over here looking for you..."

She snorted. "Well you didn't leave when I wasn't here, did you?"

"She was upset..I just wanted to make sure she was alright."

"Right..gotta take care of the Precious Peyton first. We're always saving Peyton..." she continued as she made her way up the stairs to Peyton's room, with Lucas at her heels. "Always there to comfort Peyton..run into a school and risk getting shot to save Peyton..."

"Brooke. Just stop."

Brooke stopped walking and stood her ground in front of him. "After what I told you...after everything that just happened at the reception...I come back and you with her! What am I suppossed to think?" she practically yelled at him.

"I am not justifying what I do for Peyton with you again! I'm not going to keep having this argument Brooke. We can't have a relationship when you're so set on thinking that I should be with Peyton instead of you!"

"Because that's what I see, Lucas."

Lucas sighed. "Then I don't want to be with you anymore."

Lucas braced himself for an onslaught..maybe even a slap. But none came. She just looked at him.

"You know that I love you, Brooke..but I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to keep assuring you that you can trust me..because you already should. And as much as it does break my heart to be doing this..I can't be in a relationship with someone who isn't going to trust me..who fights against us. So I'm done..unless you can change it..and start trusting me."

Brooke tucked a piece of her brown hair behind her ear as she exhaled slowly. "You're right, Lucas."

Lucas' mouth dropped open a little. "What?"

"I don't trust you...I know that she's there- in your heart- Lucas..and that's why I can't be with you either. I love you, so much," she continued as her eyes began to fill with tears. "And I was going to keep fighting for us...but..we're through. We really are. I give up." Her eyes turned from him as she grabbed the pile of clothes she had left without. She peered out the window for a moment. "She's getting away..Lucas."

Brooke turned back to Lucas, who was still in shock over Brooke's words. "But if you would just tell me...that there's nothing there between the two of you..that you feel nothing when you look at her...that you don't keep rescuing her for anything other than friendship...then I would, Lucas. I would trust you..and we could be done with this conversation for the last time. So make a choice, Lucas. Tell me that...tell me that you can't live without me..and you can live without Peyton..justify what we have...or go stop Peyton from leaving."

Lucas walked over to the window himself to stand next to Brooke. He watched as Peyton turned the ignition in the car, and he heard the engine come to life through the open window. Her shoulders shook, giving Lucas the sign that she was sobbing. She hit the steering wheel in anger and Lucas flinched as she rougly wiped away her tears.  
His eyes then went to the girl at his side...he loved her, he did...but..why did he feel like their relationship was going nowhere? Why was he doubting them? Ever since the shooting in the school...as he had sat there and watched the life seep out of Peyton..as she told him of her love for him...as she kissed him...he felt like him and Brooke...meant less to him. Something had happened to him that day...and more and more of his thoughts had turned towards Peyton daily. But why? When he loved Brooke..why was he thinking about other things?

Peyton moved the stick of her car from park to drive. Brooke looked at him expectantly.

_Now what?_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They, of course, are always welcome. :)**

Peyton reached her car and looked back at the door of her house. It didn't open. She threw her bag in the back of the car before opening the door, flinging herself in, and slamming the door shut. She looked at the door again. It still didn't open. Well what did she expect? For Lucas to come chasing after her..leaving Brooke in his wake? Truthfully? Yeah. Which was the sad part of all of this. The tears threatened her again and she bit her lip to try and stop them. All she wanted in life was to be loved, to be taken care of. Since her mother died...Peyton had lived alone. She knew her father loved her, she did..but he was rarely there to show it. She was alone, forced to fend for herself all the time..and her heart ached for something that she was missing. But she found it in Lucas. Somehow, he always managed to fill that void..that empty feeling that she had carried around with her for so long. And now it was back. That feeling. The second Lucas had turned his back on her to follow Brooke up the stairs...the second he left her standing there mid-conversation to follow his girlfriend up the stairs- in her house, nonetheless, the feeling returned in full force. The tears started to fall as sobs took ahold of her body. Was this how she was going to live her life? Alone...? Was she always going to want what she could never have? The intensity of the sobs increased as she covered her face with her hands. She hit her steering wheel in frustration. It was time to stop crying. Time ot stop focusing all of thoughts on what she couldn't have. Time to move on from Lucas..from Brooke...from this town..from everything. At least for a little while. Maybe the rest of her senior year. She could always come back for graduation...There we go, she even had a plan now. She turned the key in the ignition, ready to go. Nothing stopping her. But she still didn't move. Her eyes were drawn to the door again. It didn't open like the other times. She looked down into her lap and sighed. There really was nothing here for her was there? Nathan and Haley had each other..and she had even lost Haley to Brooke now. And Lucas had Brooke. And he loved her. And it was about time she stopped getting in their way..she knew that Brooke was still threatened by hers and Lucas' past. If she left Brooke would have nothing to worry about at all. Right. Taking a breath, she moved the stick from park to drive...her foot remained pushed down on the brake pedal for a second. She refused to look at the door again. She let her foot off of the pedal and her car started to move out of the driveway slowly. She came to the end of her driveway, pressed her foot on the gas and pulled out of the driveway and onto the street. She was on her way.

But suddenly the door of the passenger seat opened and she jerked the car to a stop in surprise. "What are you doing?" she asked him, her eyes wide.

Lucas shut the door behind him. "Stopping you."

Her car was in the middle of the road. She was on her way to a new life..one without the drama of the Tree Hill...one without Lucas. And now the person she was running from was in the car next to her. "Lucas...please. Just get out of the car," she said softly, without looking at him.

"You might want to move out the middle of the road," Lucas said, ignoring her, while looking behind them for other cars.

She didn't move the car and turned her head towards him. Lucas stopped looking in back of them and brought his eyes to meet hers. She felt that jolt in her stomach and wanted to look away. But she forced herself to keep looking at him. "Please..Luke..." she pleaded with him. "I just...I need to do this...I need to just get away."

"Then drive."

"You have to get out."

"I'm not moving," he said, shaking his head. "Come on..we'll take a trip together."

"Lucas you don't understand...I...I can't take let you come with me."

"Why?"

Peyton sighed and looked away from him. "You don't understand. Please...just get out."

"Why wouldn't I understand, Peyton? You've always been so..open and honest with me. I feel like we've really gotten to the point where you can tell me anything..I can do the same with you."

Peyton's mind flashed back to the summer they had been alone together for. He had told her about his HCM then...and forced her to keep it a secret all this time. The two had become..unseperable over those few months..that was until Brooke had come back. Then...things changed. Brooke had come back..and within days Lucas had refocused his attention off of her and onto Brooke. The pair from the summer had been resolved and Lucas only reappeared into her life when she needed him to be there. When she needed saving...and she was thankful for that, she was. But..it wasn't the same. They didn't joke around anymore..didn't just talk about music, or art..or what book he was currently immersed in. He had been the source of her happiness for so long...that when she lost then when the summer ended, it hurt her. Brooke had taken that spot in his life. And that's how they had gotten here. The only difference between then and now was that Peyton was desperately in love with him now. Was that a difference? Or had she really been in love with him all this time? Has she ever fallen out of love with him, through Jake and it all? These were the questions and the thoughts that scared her. How could one boy break down those walls that she had worked so hard all of her life to fortify..and get her to open up like she did with him? He was just one boy. No..he was Lucas.

"I don't want to do this Lucas."

"Fine then answer my question from before...and I'll get out of the car. That's all," he said smoothly. "What were you and Brooke fighting about?"

Peyton lifted her foot off of the brakes and the car lurched forward as she stepped hard on the gas. "Then we'll drive."

"Fine," Lucas said with a shrug.

Brooke watched the car pull away from the house..with Lucas in it. Their final words continued to spew around in her head.

_"I can't let her go, Brooke. I can't let her leave."_

_"So you're choosing her..over me?"_

_"No.." he said. "I love you, Brooke. I...but.."_

_"You love Peyton," Brooke supplied._

_"I do..I love Peyton...but I'm in love with you, Brooke," he told her, reaching for her hand._

_But she backed away from him so he couldn't touch her. "Go...go save Peyton. Like always."_

_"Brooke.."_

_"Lucas you have to know..deep down..she's still in your heart. Okay? She's always been there. I can see it in your eyes everytime you look at her...you're just..different around her. You're softer, more caring...you smile more. And I've tried to ignore it all this time...but I don't want to ignore it anymore. So you're free, Lucas. Go love Peyton, without anything in your way.."_

_"I'm not in love with Peyton!" Lucas shouted._

_Brooke smirked. "Little defensive about that?"_

_Lucas' eyes were drawn to the window as Peyton's car made in onto the street. He started to panic. "Just let me go stop her..and then we can-"_

_"No we can't. I'm done. I know you love me..but I know's there's someone else in your heart. And I don't want to be with someone who doesn't give me their whole heart- unconditionally...with someone who doesn't let me all the way in." She paused a minute to let her words sink in. "So go. Please."_

_Lucas swallowed and sighed. "Fine." And with that, he was out the door and after Peyton._

And she watched as the car disappeared down the road from her view.

**Please just take a second to write out a review! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews:)**

"Where are we going?" Lucas asked Peyton as she drove her car down the road.

"Around the block..and then I'm pushing you out of my car and onto the sidewalk at my house."

Lucas chuckled and Peyton glared at him. "This isn't funny, Lucas," she said, her desperation from before quickly turning to anger. "I just want you out of my car! You shouldn't be here. You should be back in that house with Brooke. Your girlfriend Brooke. You remember her?"

"We broke up."

The car jerked on the road as Peyton started. "What?"

"Just now...upstairs in your room. We decided it was over."

Peyton was speechless for a moment. She bit her lip. "Because of me? Did you break up over me?"

"Why would we break up over you?" Lucas asked quietly.

Peyton looked confused. "She didn't...it's just...Brooke has always been worried...about you and me..our past.." Peyton said brokenly, trying to haul herself out of the corner she had just gotten herself into.

"But why would it be an issue now?" Lucas asked. "Unless something happened..with you..and me..and her..." he dug. "Because the two of you were arguing about you and me..."

Peyton swallowed. It sounded like he knew something...like he already knew what her and Brooke had been arguing about. But he couldn't...could he? Would Brooke tell him about her feelings?

She had made her way around the block and they were now sitting outside Peyton's house. Lucas made no move to get out. "It's time to get out now, Lucas...just..please?"

"Why are you leaving...just tell me that."

"I just...I need to get away for a while. I need a new..scene. There's too much here in Tree Hill..and it's killing me slowly...Lucas. Just..with both of my moms..and now Brooke...and..other things..I need to get out of here. I need to save myself."

"I thought I was the one who was always saving you."

Peyton's breath caught in her throat. "You can't save me from this, Lucas. You just can't."

"Why not? What are you running from?"

Peyton's eyes filled with tears again. "Everything. All of it. I just want it all to go away."

"Why can't I come with you? Keep you company?" he asked with a smile.

Biting her lip again, Peyton shook her head. "Because you're part of it, Lucas. Part of all of it. And I can't leave here...and really leave, if I have a reminder of this place in my car next to me." Hopefully he'd believe that.

"I'm not getting out, Peyton. I'm not letting you just give up on life here because of a couple of issues...I'm not loosing you from my life because of this. I can't do that."

Peyton squeezed her eyes shut. Why was he making this so hard. She was running from him..from the way he makes her feel...from the issues that surrounded them..and he wouldn't let her. Why wouldn't he just let her go?

"Now where are we going?" Lucas asked her again.

She couldn't help give him a small smile. "This is your last chance to get out.." she warned.

"I'm not going anywhere"  
Peyton rubbed her head wearily. "Fine..if you're not going to get out...then we'll just..roadtrip for the weekend. Until you decided that you're getting out...and letting me go."

"Okay," Lucas said brightly and Peyton rolled her eyes. "I always enjoy our roadtrips...but usually they're to..find someone, aren't they?"

"Yeah..well..." Peyton sighed, angry with herself for folding to him. But she would leave after. After he was done trying to save her.

"Where to?"

"You choose."

Lucas contemplated for a moment. "Just...go to the coast..and follow it..."

Peyton nodded and the car moved forward. This should be interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Finally an update! I kinda rambled in this one..so I don't know if it makes any sense to be honest with you. But..review if you like, please. :)**

They hadn't even left North Carolina before Peyton was in need of gas. She sighed in frustration as she slammed her door shut behind her and reached for the gas pump. Maybe this trip wasn't meant to be. First, she gains an extra, unwanted passenger...then she needs gas after less than an hour of driving. This had to be the worst escape anyone has ever orchestrated.

Lucas watched her as she stalked inside to pay for the gas. He sighed and jumped when his cellphone began to ring. "Hello?"

"Hey Luke."

"Haley! How's London?"

He heard a giggle on the other end of the phone. "Sorry..Nathan's just um- London is beautiful."

"I don't want to know," Lucas responded with a laugh.

"So..how's Tree Hill doing without us?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Why..where are you?"

"Uhhh..." Lucas looked around him for some sign of their location on the road but found nothing. "Somewhere...south of Tree Hill."

"What have you and Brooke gotten yourselves into now?" Haley asked with a chuckle.

Lucas paused for a moment. "I'm not with Brooke."

"Then who are you with?" Haley asked. He could hear the curiousity in her voice.

"Peyton," Lucas answered with a slight grimace as to what her reaction would be.

Now there was a pause on her end of the line. "Why..I don't get it..what's going on?"

Lucas sighed. "It's a long story."

"Well I've got time," she insisted.

Looking into the store he saw Peyton still pilfering around looking for things to buy for their trip. "Apparantly her and Brooke got into this huge argument..and then me and Brooke argued at your wedding-"

"-Nice to know Nathan and I were the only ones that had a good time," Haley interrupted, her tone sarcastic.

"Funny, Hales. Anyways," he continued, putting stress on the word. "I went to Peyton's to find Brooke to talk to her...but I found Peyton packing...to leave. She was going to run. Away from Tree Hill. Away from all of us." _Away from me_, he added in his head.

"So you...what?"

"I tried to talk her out of it..but..well, I'm in the car with her. Obviously didn't work."

Haley was silent for a moment on the other end. "What did Brooke say about all of this?"

"Well..we..ended things."

"You and Brooke broke up?" She asked in shock. Lucas could hear the thump of something falling somewhere in London. "Nathan, that's gonna cost us-" he heard her put down the phone. She came back a second later. "Sorry, Nathan just dropped something...Okay..explain this oneto me."

"Brooke and I..really haven't been happy in our relationship for awhile, Hales. I was hoping..I was hoping we'd be able to be what I wanted us to be..I love her, ya know? But..she can't get past what I did to her. With Peyton. And I've been trying to make her get past that..but she won't. And..I realized today that I really..I haven't let her all the way into my heart. There's just something...holding us back."

"She's sitting in the driver's seat, Lucas."

"What?" Lucas asked, taken aback.

"Luke..Brooke is my roommate. She was my maid of honor. I want her to be happy..but..you haven't let her in, because she's right about keeping the past close to her heart. It's Peyton that's holding you back from giving yourself all the way to Brooke. And I haven't wanted to talk to you about this, because you and Brooke seemed okay..but.."

"Haley..I'm not..I'm not in love with Peyton."

"Then why are you in the car with her Lucas?"

"To stop her from leaving! To stop her from throwing away her life over an argument!"

"What was their argument about?"

Lucas swallowed. "Me," he admitted.

"Figured." She said. "So you left Brooke..to be with Peyton?"

Lucas' mind flashbacked.

_"So you broke up with Brooke to be with Peyton?"_

_"What you think that's wrong?"_

_"I'm not in any position to judge. The heart wants what it wants."_

"I didn't break up with Brooke to be with Peyton! I'm just helping her. I'm not in love with her. I'm just not. Listen- she's coming out..I gotta go."

"Alright, Luke. I'll call again later to check up on things, alright?"

"Yeah. You two have fun."

"Bye," Haley answered and Lucas hung up the phone without responding.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Thousands of miles away in London, Haley put her phone down on the bed of hers and Nathan's hotel room. She pulled her robe a little tighter around her as she turned to see Nathan cleaning up the bits of the jar he had knocked over when he heard her say that Brooke and Lucas had broken up. She couldn't help but grin as she approached him and a hand on his shoulder. He stood up to tower above her like usual. "What the hell is going on?" he asked her.

"Well, I guess Lucas and Brooke broke up..and now he's in a car with Peyton, who tried to run away from Tree Hill."

"She tried to leave?"

"Yeah."

Nathan let out a sigh. "That's not good. So Lucas..tried to stop her?"

"Unsuccessfully, yes."

He ran a hand through his short hair and plopped himself down on the bed. "She's probably not too happy about that, I guess."

Haley eyes widened as she looked at him. "Why wouldn't she be?"

"She's running from him."

"What?"

Nathan exhaled. "I promised her I wouldn't say anything, Hales."

Haley looked annoyed for a second. But then she joined him on the bed. She knew ways of persuasion, she thought deviously as she took his ear in her mouth.

"Not gonna work."

She pulled away with a frustrated groan. "Fine," she told him as she rose off the bed and stood in front of him. "Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon by yourself," she told him angerly as she headed towards the door.

"Alright, alright..just..promise me not to say anything?"

"Of course, Nathan. I'm not Brooke. I can keep a secret."

"When she went to see Jake..something happened and..well she still has feelings for Lucas," he blurted out. "She kinda let it all out when I picked her up when her car broke down."

Haley's mouth was open slightly. "Well that explains things a bit more." She sank onto the bed again. "Explains her and Brooke...her trying to run..and remember at our party, during the skit? When she cried..oh my god it was real. She meant it. She loves him."

"Yeah. The question is..did Luke mean his line? Does he love her?"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I really don't like this chapter..but hopefully you will. Review if that's true :)**

_Nathan looked past Marcus as they were finishing up attaching Peyton's car to the tow truck. Her eyes were looking out over the water...a look of utmost sadness reflected upon her face. As he moved towards her she seemed to snap out of it and took her own steps to meet him in the road._

_"You know I love you Sawyer, but isn't this the kind of thing you usually call Lucas for?"_

_He noted the reaction that flew across her face...her eyes darkened and her face got tight as her muscles clenched._

_"Yeah..well he's out of town.." she said slowly, a little uncomfortably._

_"What about Brooke?"_

_Peyton looked, if possible, even more uncomfortable at the mention at Brooke. She didn't answer for a moment._

_"Peyton?" he asked her._

_She blinked and her eyes came back to focus on him. He watched as they slowly filled with tears and she looked away quickly to hide them._

_"Peyton?" he asked again, concern flooding his voice._

_Shaking her head, she rubbed at her eyes quickly. "It's nothing. Can we just...go?"_

_Nathan was still confused. "Sure..."_

_They headed towards his car, Peyton still refusing to look at him. Doors opened and closed and they were on their way home._

_A few minutes passed by in silence. Nathan's concern mounted. "What's going on?" he asked her, breaking through the silence._

_"Nothing," came the quick response._

_"Where've you been all weekend?"_

_"No where."_

_"Peyton!"_

_She sighed and wrung her hands in her lap. "I went to go visit Jake," came her quiet answer._

_"In Savannah?" he asked, a little shocked. She nodded her head in response. "Wow. So..how is he? What happened..are you two-"_

_"He's fine," she interrupted before he could finish the question. "Um..we're not..I mean, we aren't..we're not back together. We were..for like a whole minute..but now we aren't."_

_"Okay..cryptic."_

_"Just..nevermind."_

_"No. I wanna know what's going on. Why did you call me and not Brooke?" he asked, cutting straight to the point._

_"Cause..I thought she'd be busy..with the wedding and all that.." she told him hesitantly._

_"Bull," he said, earning a startled look from Peyton._

_"I..something happened..in Savannah. That's all. I'm fine."_

_"Did Jake do something," Nathan asked. "Did he hurt you or something?"_

_"No, no..of course not."_

_She fell silent and Nathan waited for some kind of explanation. "Peyton..you're killing me..what happened?"_

_Peyton bit her lip. "I went to Savannah. Saw Jake..asked him to marry me. He said yes. We went to bed. I talk in my sleep. And now I'm here."_

_Nathan's mind struggled to comprehend what she had just told him. "So..you're marrying Jake?" he asked slowly._

_"No."_

_"But I thought he said-"_

_"I said something in my sleep..now we're not getting married."_

_"Did you like threaten his life or something?"_

_"That's what I hoped I said.." she muttered to herself. "I said..I loved someone else."_

_"Who? Pete?"_

_Peyton grimaced at the mention of Pete. "No..please..Pete was just..a distraction. He just stopped me from being lonely for a few days..that was it."_

_"Then...who?"_

_She shook her head and more tears sprung to her eyes._

_Nathan took a moment to piece together the information he had. Peyton says something in her sleep..about loving another guy. She won't call Brooke for help...his eyes widened in realization. "Lucas? You said you loved Lucas?"_

_Peyton started and a tear fell down her cheek. That was his answer. "That's..that's..."_

_"A complete and total nightmare?"_

_"Well..no..it's just-"_

_"He loves another girl, aka my best friend..is totally over me..and I can't say anything to him because it would ruin not only mine and Brooke's friendship but whatever it is I have with Lucas. How is that not a nightmare?"_

_Nathan swallowed. "Well.."_

_"Yeah," Peyton finished. She sighed heavily and wiped the tear that had streaked her face._

_"What are you gonna do?"_

_"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Lucas is happy with Brooke. There's no reason to screw up their relationship over my own stupid feelings..that I somehow just can't get rid of.."_

_"You're just going to bury it all.."_

_"That sounds about right. I've done it before haven't I?"_

_"Kinda..I mean you did end up with Lucas behind Brooke's back anyways last time.." he stopped talking when he saw the murderous look on Peyton's face._

_"Yeah, thanks. I remember that. This time is different. I'm not..I'm just going to forget it."_

_"That hasn't worked yet, though has it? Have you..how long have you..cared about Lucas? How long have you known?"_

_"I..I guess I never stopped loving him..ya know?"_

_"What about Jake?"_

_"I love Jake, I don't question that. But...Lucas has always had a part of my heart that no one else can touch. No matter who they are, how much they mean to me..they'll never dig their way into his spot. It's his. And nothing I can do can remove him from it. You have no idea how much I've tried..how much I just want him gone from there. But.."_

_"He won't leave you."_

_"Yeah...it's like my heart is flawed because of it."_

_Nathan's mind whirled back to when he had told Lucas that he had a flawed heart. That he knew there was a girl that Lucas had feelings for and that his heart wouldn't be healed until he told the girl how he felt. The thing was..he had been talking about Peyton..not Brooke. But he probably shouldn't tell Peyton that now. Back on the subject at hand._

_"You had to go all the way to Savannah to realize that one?"_

_"No...I had to get shot to realize it."_

_A beat passed. "What happened in the library?"_

_"Nothing that he wanted to happen," she mumbled with a sigh. "I...I thought I was going to die, Nate. And Lucas..he came to rescue me, like he always does. It seems to be his role in my life," she said with the first smile he'd seen since she got in the car. "And..I told him I loved him..and then we kissed."_

_Nathan was speechless for a moment. "And then the next time we talked about it..we joked about it..like it meant nothing."_

_"Has he told Brooke about it?"_

_"Have they had any fights lately?"_

_"That's a no then."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Well if he thinks it meant nothing..how come has hasn't told Brooke?"_

**I know..no LP. But I wanted to get this out just to explain Nathan and Peyton's actions a little more. Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long. I was stuck for a loooong time and I got going again so here's a bit. Reviews and comments are always welcome:) Thanks**

Peyton plopped herself back down in the driver's seat next, a large paper bag in her hands. "Who was that?" she motioned towards the phone is Lucas' hands.

"Haley," he responded, in what he hoped was a casual way.

Peyton smirked. "How's the honeymoon going?"

"Let's just say Haley seemed a bit distracted...," he replied with a chuckle. But Peyton didn't join in with the laughter. He glanced at her. He couldn't help but notice how sad she looked...how lost she seemed to be. Her eyes conveyed it. "Peyt.." he asked softly, extending a hand over to hers.

But she withdrew her hand out of his reach quickly. "Umm..I got us some drinks..some snacks..should last for a little bit, at least," she told him without meeting his eyes.

Lucas' hand still hung in the air, inches from where her hand was just a second ago. Peyton noticed the pained expression on his face and bit her lip. "You want anything?" she choked out of her tightening throat. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be in this car with him..this close to him. It was killing her..and a permanent ache seemed to have situated itself in her chest..where her heart used to be. She didn't feel anything there anymore. Her heart had been slowly broken..piece by piece over the years. By her mother dying...by her and Nathan's lack of a functioning relationship...by her father's continous absence...by Ellie's passing...and then by Lucas...over and over again. There was nothing left for anyone to claim. Which included Lucas. And she was just going to have to accept that. He hadn't responded to her question so she just thrust the bag into his lap and busied herself by starting the car and pulling out of the lot.

A half hour passed before either one of them said anything. They rode in silence, something that was unusual for them. Every other time they had been in this car, some type of music had been on. Whether it was upbeat and they were singing to it, top down, wind in their hair..or it was something that matched one of their..less happy moods, there had always been music. But Peyton had found that music had lost a sense of meaning for her. It was like with Ellie's death..she didn't believe in the power and the magic that it use to have for her. She didn't believe that songs could mean anything to her anymore...that there could be one song that defined a moment in your life, one song that captured your being..even if it was just for three minutes. Like Ellie's life, the light that music used to bring her, was extinguished.

"I'm hungry," Lucas voiced suddenly, causing Peyton to jump and jerk the wheel a bit.

"You've got a whole bag of food on your lap," she retorted back, taking a second to glance at him.

"I want some real food..like eating while not moving food.."

"Cause that's the technical term for food from a restuarant."

"Then what is the technical term for restuarant food?"

Peyton could see his cocky grin out of the corner of her eye. "Does it really matter?"

He laughed. The sound of his laughter brought a smile to her face, unvoluntarily. He noticed that is was the first time she had smiled since...well since he got back from his trip with his mother.

"And she can still smile."

It faded slightly with his words, but he had still made her smile.

"What?"

"I didn't know you're face could still handle a smile, Peyton. I haven't seen you do it in a couple of days."

She rose her eyebrows. "Yeah, well..there hasn't been much to grin about lately, Luke."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For...whatever it is that's making you upset. I just wish you would tell me what it was so I could make it better for you. I want to make it better for you. You know that I'm here for you..and that I can help you..and I'm just sorry that you won't tell me so I can fix it."

"Lucas..."

"I'm not..forcing you to tell me what's bothering you...I'm just..confused about why you won't trust me with the truth?"

Well let's see...The truth, Lucas? You want the truth? Well the truth is I love you..and I was stupid and told your girlfriend...and then she threw a fit..and now she hates me and I know that you don't love me back..so that's why I'm upset. Yeah. The truth- it's not being shared.

Peyton put on her turn signal and got in the right lane. "Is that resturant good?" she asked, motioning her head towards a fancy looking place on the side of the road.

He frowned at the change of subject and answered with an indifferent 'Yeah' accompanied by a shrug of his shoulders.

Now in the restuarant, Peyton really wished she hadn't picked this one. Not only was it fancy, while they were underdressed...but the room of tables was complete with a dance floor and sappy love music blaring over the speakers. Peyton rolled her eyes as she looked around her, playing with the food on her plate. But she couldn't help the flash of envy that flew through her when her hazel eyes fell upon the couples on the dance floor. From young to old..they all just looked..so happy. And she hated it. Everyone else had someone else to dance with..to eat meals with. And sitting here she realized that she had never had a normal relationship like that. Her and Nathan didn't go on actual dates...her and Lucas snuck around for three days..and her and Jake never got the chance to do anything normal like this. Like eating a meal and dancing in a resturant. Would she ever have that kind of a relationship? At that moment, sitting across from the boy she knew she could never easily have..she highly doubted it.

"You wanna go dance?"

Peyton's head snapped back to him so fast that her neck cracked. She winced and put a hand up to rub it. "Excuse me?"

"Do you want to dance, Peyton? You keep looking over there to the floor.."

"I...uh..no..that wouldn't be..."

But Lucas was rising from his chair even with her protests. He extended his hand out to her. "Dance with me?"

All of her intuitions were screaming 'no' at her as she stared at his outstretched hand like it was the plague. But a small little echo of hope worked its way from her heart to the rest of her body. That small part of her that wanted Lucas to feel something for her so badly that she believed he actually did took over her heart..and won the fight against her mind.

Her hand took up his, and he led them onto the floor, amongst the dancing couples.

**Next time: the dance...and will Peyton ever confess her feelings to Lucas? Thanks!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Another update...that's not a month later...I must be sick or something...lol. Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you enjoy this one...:)**

Lucas pulled her onto the dance floor just as a new, slow song was starting up. His hands went to her hips and Peyton's stomach erupted with butterflies. The sudden nervousness caught her off guard...due to the fact that she had just been telling herself that she couldn't have Lucas...she really couldn't. But his hands felt so right on her hips. Almost automatically, her arms swung up around his neck, clasping themselves together at the line of his hair.

Her head tilted up to see him smiling at her...but she looked away quickly as her stomach lurched again..determined to stop feeling that way..to stop her heart from racing everytime he looked at her..just to stop it. The song filtered into her ears..even though she was trying her hardest to ignore it...to ignore any song that assualted her ears.  
Cause songs always managed to hold a meaning to her. And she didn't want to feel anything anymore. She just didn't.

_When I see your smile  
tears roll down my face  
I can't replace. _

_And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,  
and I know ill find deep inside me, I can be the one.  
_

Their feet moved in sync with each other...in sync with the beats of the song...her hands fell from his neck to his shoulders, her tiny fingers grabbing onto him.

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up for you forever  
ill be there for you through it all,  
even if saving you sends me to heaven._

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing  
and stars are falling all for us  
days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one.

This song..it brought her back to the day in the library..after she had been shot. How he had risked his life to save her...how when she had been lying there alone..she had hoped that it would be him to find her...and on some level, she knew that he would be the one to come and save her...because it always was. It was always him to came to save her..that cared enough. And that day he had risked her life to save her. Just for her. And that meant more to her than any other thing that had ever happened in her life. The things he did...the things he told her...they just..they made her fall for him..everytime. And now she was crashing...with no one..not even him to save her.

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up for you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
even if saving you sends me to heaven._

Cause you're my  
you're my  
my true love  
my whole heart  
please don't throw that away.

She could feel the tears threatening her eyes as the past few days came crashing down upon her. Seeing Jake..realizing that is was Lucas that she loved...all along...knowing that she loved someone who loved someone else...knowing that she could never have Lucas without hurting Brooke, something she wouldn't do. True love..something she hadn't believed in until Lucas had come into her life. He shifted while holding her, pulling Peyton closer to him. Her head came down to rest on his shoulder. And yeah..there was a point where she believed that Lucas was her true love. It had crossed her mind. But...he and Brooke...

_Cause I'm here, for you  
please don't walk away and  
please tell me you'll stay, stay... _

She couldn't hold them back anymore..the tears fell. All her emotions rose to the surface and came spilling out..all because of this song. Apparently music still meant something to her. Ellie's death really hadn't taken that away from her.

_Use me as you will  
pull my strings just for a thrill  
and I know ill be okay  
though my skies are turning gray._

I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up for you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

He pulled back from her, his eyes falling to the wet stains on his shirt. Then they rose to meet hers, concern and confusion swirled around in them. She let out a compressed sob when his hands left her hips. One of them made it to her face to wipe off the tears...but she backed away after a moment of contact. "Peyton.." she said as he moved towards her. Shaking her head..the tears falling freely now...she turned and bolted to the car.

Lucas hesitated for one millisecond..before he charged after her.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay..so I'm nervous about this one...pretty much the big chapter of the fic..so if you like it..just let me know. lol. Thanks :)**

She practically ran to the car..just so he couldn't see her tears. She was crying..again! Over him. Again!

"Peyton!"

She froze..her hand on handle of the door. But she wouldn't turn around. She wouldn't give him that.

"Peyton..." he repeated. It was hesitant, almost fearful. She felt his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. "Please.." he tried again desperately.

Her resolve to turn around faded, and she snapped around, trying to place a look of anger on herself as she faced him. "Why won't you just let me go? I'll drop you off back in Tree Hill...I just.." a sob broke through. "I can't do this..."

"Can't do what, Peyton? Why can't you just tell me what's going on? Just tell me what's wrong so I can help you!"

"No you wanna know what's wrong because you feel guilty! You want to ease that feeling in your stomach..the one that's telling you me and Brooke argued over you...the one that tells you you're the reason our friendship is over!"

Lucas' face resembled that of a person who had just been slapped. "That's what you think this is about? That I feel guilty that you and Brooke argued over me..again?" he asked quietly, his voice cold.

"It isn't!" she practically yelled back at him. "Isn't everything always about either you or Brooke? What- did she force you to come with me so I wouldn't be able to leave, just to make me that much more misreable?"

The expression on Lucas' face now headed more towards anger. "Oh yeah, Peyton, that's it."

Peyton sniffed, but didn't wipe the tears from her face.

"Remember when you asked me if Brooke and I broke up because of you...?" He looked to Peyton, who nodded in confirmation. "At first it wasn't about you..it was about how she made me feel...but she gave me a choice in the end: Fight for her...or go after you. Now- tell me I don't care about you. Tell me that I'm not here..in that car with you..because I don't want to help you."

She didn't know what to do with that. She had no retort..nothing bad to say. Nothing to argue with. But those words...they were meant to make her feel better..weren't they? But..now she felt more..horrible. She had accomplished exactly what she hadn't wanted to. To break up Brooke and Lucas. She hadn't wanted to.

"I..I.." she stammered. "I'm so sorry..Lucas..". The tears started to fall again and the anger on his face quickly melted away.

"I didn't mean to blame-"

"No..no..it's my fault. All of this is my fault. I didn't want this to happen...I should've just kept my mouth shut..." she rambled on. "God..why am I so stupid!"

Lucas reached for her, but she moved out his way yet again. "You're not stu-"

"Yes I am, Lucas! Don't you get it? Me and Brooke..you and Brooke..it's all my fault because of my own stupidity."

"But why? What did you do?" he asked, almost growling it in obvious frustration.

"I was stupid enough to realize that I'm in love with you!" She clapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide..they examined Lucas rather fearfully..looking for a reaction. But he didn't looked shocked.

"I know," he almost whispered.

"You..what?"

There was beat of silence. The only noise were the cars passing by in the background. "I knew..already. Brooke told me...at the wedding."

Peyton couldn't pick an emotion to feel at that moment. Anger..hurt..betrayal...but..then there was some kind of happiness that somehow made it through the whirlwind she was experiencing. The fact that he had known about her feelings for him..and had opted to come with her..instead of stay with Brooke. What did that mean? But..the other emotions won out. "You knew.." she shook her head, brushing her hair away. "You knew...and you forced yourself in my car..asking me what was wrong..when you knew it was you that I was really running from! How could you do that, Lucas? I..." She could feel the tears well up again..and couldn't help the sob that racked her body...so couldn't control her emotions anymore. "These past few days have been a nightmare for me..don't you understand that? Do you know how hard it is...to be in love with someone who cares for someone else?" She balled her fists up with anger. "Do you any clue what's it like for me to sit around and watch you and Brooke?" Her heart felt like it was going to implode with hurt. "I can't believe you would lie to me...tell me you didn't know what was going on...why..why would you do it? For fun? Is this a game to you?"

Lucas looked as though he was about to cry himself..or maybe she was just wishing that was what he looked like. "I wanted to know if it was true. I wanted to hear it come out of your mouth. I needed to hear the words."

"What difference does it make!" she screamed at him. "It doesn't matter!"

"But it does."

"It doesn't..and can't matter. I know that you don't love me, okay! I know it. But that gives you no reason to do this to me! To lie to me..to..to..act like you didn't know. To ask me to dance with you..when you knew it, Lucas. YOu knew that..it would mean something to mean..when it doesn't mean the same thing to you. What kind of sick game are you playing here? Is it just in retaliation for Brooke? Are you doing this on Brooke's side..let's make a fool of Peyton because she hurt Brooke!"

"This isn't about Brooke! None of it is..this is about you and me."

Peyton's heart wrenched at the words 'you and me'. She so badly wanted Lucas to say those words about the two of them. For there to be a 'Lucas and Peyton'..anything. But she shook her head. "There's no-"

But they were interrupted by a shout from behind them..coming from the resturant. Lucas turned around at the voice.

"Hold up! You two didn't pay your check!" The waiter approached them and Lucas took care of it, apogizing profusely.

Turning back to Peyton, he looked to laugh..but the look disappeared when he saw her face. "You know what.." She dug in her pocket and pulled out the keys to her car. "I just want to go home."

Lucas nodded...and Peyton blinked out more tears at his lack of response..at his lack of need to carry on their conversation. Which obviously..meant nothing to him. She threw the keys at him, which he caught in surprise. "Just..you drive. I don't care anymore."

She walked around the car to the passenger seat and threw herself into it. It was a moment before Lucas followed.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ok...I want to fully apologize for it taking this long for me to get an update up. I just started college..and it caught me off guard at how busy I was. So hopefully..I didn't loose any readers in the downtime..and I hope you are all still interesting after that amazing season premiere. So ..review if you like it and let me know you're still interested. **

Lucas glanced over at Peyton for about the hundreth time in five minutes. She was curled up against the side of the car, her head leaning down on her arm. Her eyes were closed..so she was either sleeping or faking it. He didn't know. Her headphones were plugged into her ears...completely tunning him out. Peyton hadn't said a single word to him since she had thrown her keys at him and gotten in the car to head home.

And every time he glanced at her...the raw feeling of shame and self-hatred only grew in that deep pit of his stomach. He knew it was wrong..to keep pressuring her to tell him what he knew all along..he knew it. But he needed to do it. He needed to know..if it was true. Because-

Lucas was torn from his thoughts by his phone ringing in his pants pocket. One hand on the wheel, Lucas shifted to grab it, taking yet another glance at Peyton as he opened the phone without looking at who was calling him. "Hello?" he questioned into the speaker of his cell.

"Hey Luke, how are you?" came the voice of his brother.

"Nathan," Lucas greeted him with. "I'm...okay. I guess."

The voice on the other side of the line was silent for a moment. "What's wrong?" he asked knowingly.

"Nothing...just.."

"What did you do now?"

Lucas sighed heavily and Nathan chuckled. "Peyton's still alive, right? You didn't drive her off a cliff or lose her or anything did you?"

"No, I'm just an idiot, that's all."

"That's something I knew already. Tell me something I don't."

"Yeah thanks, Nathan."

"Still waiting," Nathan's voice came.

"Peyton, she...you won't tell anyone about anything I say, right?"

"Of course not, Lucas.."

"And Haley doesn't have her head pressed up against the phone?"

Nathan chuckled. "No...she went shopping."

"Okay.." Lucas replied, once again glancing at Peyton, this time to make sure she was still sleeping and unaware of anything he did. "Peyton has feelings for me. And I knew it. And I..forced her to tell me. And forced myself on her, with this trip...and now she's upset," he summed up in a rush, glad for someone other than himself to hear it.

A low whistle emmitted from the speaker of Lucas' phone. "You...are an idiot."

"Yeah I know. Trust me I know. The look on her face..." he said softly, and Nathan could hear the shame that was trapped in his voice.

"It's alright..Luke," Nathan tried to say slowly. "Just...apologize...it'll be alright."

"I don't think it will be..I mean..I really messed this one up..again. How many times do I have to mess..me and Peyton up?"

Nathan was silent for a second, not quite sure that he had heard his brother right. "Wait..you were trying to have a 'me and Peyton'...?"

Lucas started as he realized his mistake. "What?" he asked, feigning innocent confusion.

"Do you want to be with Peyton?"

Silence took over their conversation. "No...I mean..I still love Brooke...right?"

"Why is that a question and not a statement?"

"Because I don't know anymore! I don't...". Lucas' eyes again drifted to Peyton who shifted slightly in her seat. But her eyes never opened. And he could still hear the music coming from her headphones. "Ever since...that day..that kiss the library...I...I've just been confused. I mean, I dunno. I was fine with Brooke..everything was fine..but we kissed, and I felt something. Something that..had been hidden deep down in me. And then all of a sudden...it was back. Those feelings that I..that I had for her..they were back. But..Brooke. I still love Brooke. But now there's Peyton too...and I don't know what to do."

A moment passed where neither one of them spoke. It gave Nathan a second to comtemplate asking something. "Lucas do you remember sometime last year...when we were talking about your heart being flawed? And I told you that until you told the girl that you had feelings for, how you felt about her, that your heart would remain like that?"

"Random much..but yeah."

"You went to Brooke's house after that, right?"

"Yeah..Nathan, where is this going?" Lucas asked, a slight bit of annoyance added into his tone of voice. His eyes roamed the road around him for any sign of where they were going.

"When I was talking about a girl that night...I was talking about Peyton."

"What!" Lucas asked loudly into the reciever.

"She was the one slipping away...the one that I saw you watching from across the room, with that look in your eyes. The way you look at someone when you..care for them as more than just friends. It was Peyton..not Brooke. I just thought that she was the one that had feelings for at that point."

"Good job there, Nathan. Remind me never to let you play matchmaker for anyone-"

"But was I really wrong, Lucas? Or have you really always cared for Peyton...even if your head didn't know it. Your heart knows it..if it's there. If your feelings for Peyton are anywhere..you've buried them deep within your heart. Now tell me, straight out...when you heard Peyton tell you that see had feelings for you today-"

"-she didn't say she had feelings for me."

"I thought you said-"

"She said she loved me."

"Close enough," Nathan continued with an air of dismissal.

"No it's not. It's completely different. It's a world of difference."

"Okay..when she told you that she loved you..tell me that you felt nothing..that it didn't matter at all to you."

Lucas chewed on the question for a moment. "Honestly...when Brooke told me that she loved me..back at your wedding...I..I smiled. That make Brooke even more angry, of course...but I smiled. I couldn't help it."

"So what do you think that means?"

Lucas swallowed roughly. This was definately something he had been thinking about over the past few days. Peyton wasn't the only one who was having an issue being in the same car together. "When the words came out of her mouth today..." Lucas paused, searching for the words. "With Haley..do you ever just have a moment..where she does something..or you see or smell something of hers..and you feel your heart clench..your chest get tighter? You actually feel something in your heart..like physically?"

Nathan felt himself nodding at Lucas' words as he spoke, even though he knew his brother couldn't see him do so. "In the mornings..when she gets out of bed before me..I just lay there and I smell the pillow..and it smells like her. And I have one of those moments everytime."

"That's what I felt like when she told me she loved me. So it must mean something to me..I just don't know what yet."

"I'm not helping with your confusion any, am I?" Nathan asked, sympathy in his voice.

"No...but.." Lucas let out an exasperated sigh. "I just don't know."

"I say you just forget the two of them..and find a new girl out there on the road.." Nathan supplied, laughter following closely on his words.

"I can't...it's one of them. One of these two girls..I can't live without. And I feel something for both of them."

"I know..I know," Nathan responded. "Listen..I gotta go..promised Hales I would have the room..at least cleaner by the time she came back. Call me if you need anything..at all..alright?"

"Yeah...yeah," Lucas responded distantly, his mind still on their discussion. "Thanks for listening."

"No problem. Talk to ya later, man."

"Bye." Lucas ended the conversation with the flip of his phone shut. Sighing, his eyes caught a road sign...400 miles to Tree Hill. Great..plenty of hours to think about..everything.

**Please review! Thanks:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So..I know it's been forever since I updated this. And I apologize with my whole heart for what it's worth. College keeps me busy just about 24/7 and I just have not had the time to write ANYTHING since I've been there. But, with the new year I made it my goal to start updating again, at least as much as I can until I head back to college when my break is over. If you're still interested in the story, let me know. I hope this is ok, I was rusty. **

Miles passed, the sun went down, and Lucas' eyes got more and more tired by the second. They kept shutting on him...like they were punishing him for making them stay open this long. And when your eyes are doing that when you're driving..it's never good. But he kept going..because what else was he going to do? Ask Peyton to drive? He didn't even ponder that question in his mind for more than a second before he knew the answer was no. His head dropped, but came right back up, his exhausted eyes refocusing on the road. He rubbed a hand over his face, feeling the scruffiness that had evolved over the time on the road. Sighing heavily, he tried to look around for something to keep him distracted..to keep him awake. His sight fell on her. On Peyton. On his good friend Peyton. That he had gotten in the car to help...that he had given up his girlfriend for to help. Why? Why had he done that? Why was everything so messed up now? Things had been moving along fine. Lucas was dating Brooke..Lucas loved Brooke. Peyton was..with Jake..and then Pete..and out of his reach. And then him and his mother had taken a roadtrip of their own. A little time away from the world that had fallen down on the two of them with Keith's death and the revealation of his heart condition. And his mother had been speaking of the future, of what he wanted with his life..for his life. One question was asked: "What's your next dream Lucas?" Lucas' mind tried to imagine himself some years in the future. Impulsively, without thinking at all about any implications. He just closed his eyes and whatever came to his head..was what he wanted.

He saw himself at a desk, laptop in front of him. On the screen was a title. Of a story, he had assumed. The walls were decorated with awards. Looking more closely he saw that they were for books. His books. He would be an author. It was fitting was it not? At one point, before basketball..before all the drama that the past few years had involved..his life had been literature. His hands could never be seen without a book in them. So now that basketball was done..he would go back to how it was then. Then his eyes came to a frame on the desk. Naturally and obviously a picture was inside. Squinting to see it more closely, he realized it was a picture of him and another person. He assumed it was Brooke, the way his hand was wrapped around her waist..the way she was looking at him. Moving closer still...his eyes widened in wonder. Brooke had curly hair? Curly, blonde hair? And then it hit him. It wasn't Brooke in the picture. It was Peyton.

His mother had chosen that particular moment to clear her throat and Lucas was brought back to the present day..in the car with her. And he had answered normally, with his choice dream being to study literature, of course. But his brain had been elsewhere the rest of the trip. It had been on Peyton.

Somehow, no matter where his life was in a certain moment, is always came back to Peyton. Why? That's all he wanted to know. And he wished there was someone there to give him the answer. Anyone.

Spying a gas station, Lucas pulled off the road and up to one of the few gas pumps at the small rest place. He stood pumping the gas while Peyton slept on in the passenger's seat. Maybe she really was just faking sleep to ignore him. Sighing, his legs moved him into the station to pay. Digging in his pocket, Lucas' eyes brought themselves to looking at Peyton, who he could see through the large glass windows. He sighed again, involuntarily.

"Are you okay?"

Lucas' head swiveled straight ahead of him and his eyes met those of an older woman- the cashier. She was looking him over in concern. He cleared his throat to cover his surprise at her voice. "Yeah..yeah I'm fine. Twenty in gas," Lucas told her as he handed over one of his remaining twenty dollar bills.

Her hand took the money from his and his eyes returned to Peyton, who still hadn't moved an inch. Was she still alive even, he thought with a minimal amount of amusement. He heard the noise of the register in the back of his mind. "Is _she_ okay?" the woman asked, emphasis on the pronoun of the question.

"Who?" Lucas asked startled.

"Your girlfriend in the car."

Lucas shook his head slowly. "She's not..she's not my girlfriend."

"No? Then why do you keep looking at her then?"

"It's a long story. Thanks," Lucas said with a nod as he went to head out the door.

"Sir?"

He paused in his exit and turned back towards the woman. Somehow she looked older than he first calculated. "If you keep looking at her, it's for a reason. If you keep coming back to her, your heart is trying to tell you something. Tell her what she means to you. Before it's too late. Before you have no time left." She paused for a moment. "Just take an old woman's advice, will ya?"

"Okay," he said slowly. "I'll..try."

"Okay," she echoed. "Good luck."

"Thanks." Lucas left the store, his face screwed up in confusion at what had just happened. A rain drop attacked his cheek and he looked up into the cloudly sky where dusk was beginning to fall. Reaching the car, it took the steps needed to put up the top to Peyton's car. She shifted in her seat and her eyes opened quickly when she heard the noise it made. Shaking her curls off her face, she took in her surroudings quickly. Lucas, unable to stop staring because of the fact that she had actually opened her eyes, looked at her with such..rapture that Peyton actually felt her eyes drawn to his. And they connected for a second. She felt her heart speed up and looked away quickly. She readjusted herself in her seat, closing her eyes again. She begged for sleep to come. Anything to distract her from her present reality.

Lucas, dealing with the disappointment of having Peyton's eyelids cover her hazel orbs again, finished installing the top and got back in the car. It seemed smaller now..more confining. Fighting off a sense of clausterphobia, Lucas turned the engine and returned to their journey home, listening only to the steady thump of rain on the windshield.

His exhaustion was starting to consume his body just a few miles down the road. His head was filled with his thoughts- too many thoughts. How random was that lady in the gas station? Telling him what to do..what continously looking at Peyton meant. Wait- she had said the reason he kept coming back to Peyton. Hadn't Lucas just asked for someone- anyone- to tell him why everything kept coming back to the girl in the seat beside him. And she gave him an answer. "Your heart is trying to tell you something," he whispered outloud to himself.

Was it Peyton? Was Peyton the one that he had been looking for all along? "Tell her what she means to you. Before it's too late." Those words echoed in his head. That had always been the problem with him and Peyton hadn't it? He had always been too late to tell her how he felt. He had always missed his chance. First, he had chosen Brooke when Peyton had confessed her feelings to him suddenly. Out of fear. Then again, somehow he had chosen Brooke a second time after his conversation about the girl that was slipping away with Nathan. This time it was because Lucas knew that Peyton's heart was with Jake. So didn't that mean that Brooke was his one? Why did he always choose her if it didn't?

He fought to keep his eyes open, but it was to no avail. Even as his head whirled, he couldn't stay awake any longer. His eyes closed, and an image, a memory automically came to mind.

_"Peyton," he managed to get out, as he grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. Back into his arms. He met her with a kiss. A simple kiss. A simple kiss that meant all the world at that moment. She broke it, pulling back with a look on her face._

_"See? It does mean something."_

_Her eyes darted everywhere but his face. "It can't," she almost whispered._

_"But it does," he restated._

_"Lucas, you're dating Brooke!"_

_"I know. And she's great. Okay? But, she's not you. Look ever since you came to my room and you told me how you felt about me I've been hiding with Brooke. Okay? I've been trying not to get hurt again." He paused, letting his words sink in. "I don't want to hide anymore."_

_She looked down to the ground. "Even if we could be together what makes you think it would work?"_

_He thought for a second. "Cause I feel it in my heart." His eyes scanned her for a reaction. "Don't you?"_

_"Yes," she replied quickly with a nod of her head. "So what are we gonna do?"_

He hid with Brooke. Brooke protected him. And he loved her because she protected his heart from Peyton. He finally knew. It was Peyton. Peyton was the-

A horn sounded. Now he knew there were no cars in the hallway at school. But there were on a road he realized. His eyes snapped open and were met with a blinding light. The light of two headlights feet in front of him. Panicing, Lucas pulled the wheel to the right, launching the car out of the wrong lane and into the ditch on the opposite side of the road. As his head connected with the steering wheel in front of him, he was lauched back into darkness. All was still around him.


End file.
